


At the end, I'm always going back to you

by tennisuhs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, also some characters might just be mentioned, i can't do my boys like that, i'm not gonna lie to you chief this chapter is pretty angsty, ish?? yeah there's humor up in here too, taeil's ex is an asshole and an oc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-02 11:04:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15795216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tennisuhs/pseuds/tennisuhs
Summary: After graduating, Doyoung returns to the neighbourhood he grew up in. Only to find it inhabited by new faces (except his college friend Ten and his boyfriend). However, soon enough Doyoung finds out rent isn't going to pay itself. Thing is, the only place he got a reply after the interview is a couples counseling/therapy center with one odd rule: every employee must be in a stable healthy relationship.As a curse, he crosses paths with his first love and heartbreaker, Moon Taeil who might be the solution to all his problems.





	1. Fate sure works its ways

Thursday 13:46 P.M

The couch complained when his back met the worn out fake leather, a slight creak that would alarm most, made room for a small oof, as the boy laid comfortably head against the pillows. His hands flew towards the envelope, still unable to tear the paper piece open. It looked as if he was in some sort of rush, excitement filling his erratic movements, but truth is Doyoung knew exactly what he was going to find in the printed ink. Rent overdue: first notice. His eyebrows flew upwards as he thought his first notice had been weeks ago, but blaming it on his charisma maybe the landlady felt some sort of pity for him. Shrugging, he wasn't going to question the woman's choice, and instead sat down, grabbing his laptop from the coffee table. 

No new emails, great. So the job hunting hadn't been all that successful either. Sighing he closed the laptop shut, he could feel the headache starting to pound against his temples, and the sudden buzz by his feet wasn't alleviating either. Opening his eyes with annoyance he looked at the device as if he could drill holes and make it stop. Eventually he gave in to the insisting buzzing and slid his finger through the screen, a familiar name glowing on it.

"Hi, Ten." Doyoung answered the call as he leaned his back against the armrest of the couch, eyes closing again. 

"Darling!" the other chipered rather joyfully from the other side of the line. "You aren't answering my texts, everything okay?" Doyoung could tell he was doing something else, another voice mumbling inaudibly in the background. 

"Yeah sure, if me being homeless in less than a month can count as fine." maybe he was exaggerating, his rent was overdue and he could still pay for it, at least for one more month. He had enough time to look for more apartments. However, that meare thought him want to kick his feet against the floor and whine until his head hurt. "This is the most homophobic welcome back I've had so far." 

Ten giggled as he scribbled something down, Doyoung could hear the pen against the screen, but at least he got the joke. "Sure honey, don't forget about that kid yelling slurs on his bike before falling off and eating the ground."

"Oh well that was just fucking hilarious, but there's nothing funny about me being fucking broke.” his voice had a slight sparkle of defeat to them, knowing he would figure something out eventually, but choosing to stick to a bratty attitude for now. “I can’t even afford sheet masks Ten. If I can’t count on my beauty then what do I have left?”

“If beauty is your last resort then honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.” 

“You are fully aware that I can take you down with one hit. Like, I know your boyfriend is a giant and all, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly. You are a potential dead man, Ten.” the threat was only half fake, a genuine smile blooming in his lips as he grabbed onto a red pillow, putting it on his lap as a source of distraction.

“Sure, I’m shaking my dearest Dongyoung.” the other replied, his high pitched voice becoming annoyingly so, in a way the friend knew it got to Doyoung’s nerves.

“Can’t you be useful and use your twink powers to find me a job in this rotten town?”

“This might not be the city you grew up in anymore, but I don’t think it’s rotten. It might not be San Francisco, sure, but give it a chance.” 

Ten had been well aware about that fact when he moved in with his boyfriend, even though he and Doyoung went both to San Francisco, the smaller fell for a communications major from another city. To this day, Doyoung found admirable how they persisted into making things work, even if there was an hour separating their campus. It was even more outstanding given the fact that Ten used to pride himself of ‘not doing relationships’ and ‘not commiting easily’. Doyoung joked that Johnny’s dick had to be otherworldly and, still then, Ten didn’t deny it.

Needless to say, Doyoung was fiercely jealous of the couple. In a healthy way, he’d suppose. Neither of them were his type, it’s not them what he wanted, but the strong bond they shared. With someone else. He had woken up from dreams of certain smaller male, square jawed and straight nose, being on the other side of this desired relationship. The images were too vivid, yet based on the boy when they were teens. God knows how he’d look now, probably with a ring around his finger, a fake smile never reaching his eyes and holding someone else’s hand. What a shame, really.

“Why should I? I’ve been on Tinder for two hours and I’ve swiped left so many times I’m starting to go insane.” That was also an exaggeration, he had been on Tinder for barely 5 minutes until his anxiety of strangers got the worst of him. The app was no longer in his phone.

“Doyoung if you want a good fuck, just come to the club with us this weekend. Drink, dance, find a cutie and use protection.” Ten listed those out like it was his grocery list, clearly sitting down now. 

Both Ten and Johnny had insisted so much on Doyoung joining in, meeting their friends and overall have a good time like they used to in San Francisco, when Johnny would sleep over their shared dorm. For unknown reasons Doyoung kept denying the invitation, first blaming it to said fear of strangers, then his recent break up (right after graduation, so like a year ago), and last but not least, his mess of a life.

“Yeah, because that worked for you, didn’t it?”

“I will never be ashamed of my whore ways.” There was a woo in the background, a loud high pitched cheer that could only match Johnny’s weird vocal range. 

“Fine, but I’ll only come if there’s free alcohol.” It really was easy to give in. After all the shared memories, Doyoung couldn’t keep his wall up anymore. Walls would only separate him from what he cherished the most. Besides, he could always go back to his misery after a good night out.

“We are celebrating our 3th year anniversary of course there will be free alcohol.” after so many years of friendship, it felt like Doyoung could see Ten rolling his eyes at the obvious statement.

Another cheer, this time followed with some claps. Suddenly the line went a bit bizarre, sounds of fabric against the mic before another voice took over, loud and clear. This time it was words rather than cheers when Johnny spoke.

“Doyoung it’s been weeks I’ll buy you every San Francisco cocktails you want. Or margaritas, or anything, just come please.” he couldn't help but smirk at the pun. Doyoung had to admit he was that type of friend that would remind everyone he studied abroad. Well, just on the gayest place in the country but still, it felt like a different world. 

Also, another fact was that Doyoung wasn't very fond of sweet alcoholic drinks, deciding that cola and vodka was the best baby cologne tasting beverage he'd ever drunk, and there for sticking with it as his to go club drink.

“Well someone is desperate.” Doyoung singsung smile adoring his face as he stood up to ventilate his apartment, pillow tossed back to the couch where it fell from his lap. “But I’d do anything for my favourite lisp having-eight feet tall sub.”

“Was the last part necessary?”

“Absolutely.”

 

Friday 19:09 P.M

Sicheng gave the best hugs. They were rare and filled with emotion, it was like the chinese boy had a limited storage and only gave them out when completely necessary. And that seemed like the perfect time. Sicheng’s arms seemed fibble and skinny, but the kid could spin five times on one foot while standing. He was ripped. And Taeil could tell as much as he pressed his face against his chest.

Now, Moon Taeil wasn't the one to cry. In public. However, to his friends he was a noticeable cry baby, that shed tears during his birthday party because Jaehyun gave a beautiful speech that more or less followed these lines: we just met, but I trust you with my life.

So Taeil had cried. Quite a bit. Maybe a lot. Maybe enough for Sicheng to feel dampness sticking to his chest. “It’s going to be fine. You still have one week don’t you?” 

He reassured the older again, squeezing him. They were sitting on Sicheng’s bed, still unmade. The older of the two was too dazed to question how they got here from his place, after a rushed call and Sicheng at his door in less than half an hour. Taeil didn’t want to think how much the other had sped up his car to arrive as soon as possible. He loved Sicheng, but he loved him alive. 

“I know, it's just…” he left the rest of the sentence hanging, the two of them already knew how it finished. It was just exhausting to talk, to think, to remember. 

The past weeks had been the worst yet. After almost a year and multiple breakups and get back together-s, one would think Taeil had already learned his lesson. And they would be wrong. He only saw the good in people, he trusted too easily and let his feelings take over his decisions even if his conscience was trying to slap him awake from his daydream. 

He was never going to change, he would always control Taeil how he wanted. He had never loved Taeil more than just a good fuck to keep around for him and only him. And Taeil had only kept his head down, unable to break the cage he himself built around this toxic relationship. Until he had touched him, leaving a loud beep in his ear and a dull ache where his body touched the ground. Taeil’s change shattered then.

Knowing him, he was going to be gone for an entire week. And Taeil could only hope and pray that was enough for him to find something better. 

“Things will work out. You have us, and your family.” Sicheng’s voice was deep as the Pacific Ocean, and it succeeded in soothing Taeil, who had begun to push away from the embrace. Already missing the contact. 

The brunette's eyes couldn’t bare to look further up from his feet. Both in embarrassment, given that he made a mess on Sicheng’s shirt, and because he felt pathetic. Like a kid who had made a very basic mistake after being told repeatedly how to solve it. Disappointment didn’t begin to cover it. Regret replaced blood in his veins, pumping fast to reach every limb, every fiber. A whole year thrown away. That’s why he was afraid of leaving: he was afraid to admit he had wasted his time and effort. Always afraid of waste.

A hand found his shoulder, rubbing it softly. “Yuta once told me people feel better when they do a list of goals.” he suggested. “We can start there, okay?” And with that Sicheng was gone, his footsteps lost somewhere in his apartment, leaving Taeil alone with his thoughts. He didn’t want to go back to that place he used to call home. Memories would deform in his brain again, making him think they weren’t so bad after all, making him call the asshole to mend things again. 

Shaking his head, he decided to take his phone out, blocking his number from everywhere and deleting all his social media apps. That was the very first step, like a pre-step before the first step. Step 0. Taeil smiled at that thought. He was going to get his life back, no matter what. He was going to write until his fingers cramped, he was going to post on his blog again, pouring everything out. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he visualized it all.

A familiar notification noise tingled in the air. It couldn’t be him, Taeil thought, since he just had blocked and reported him. So he gingerly opened the text, to find a picture of Taeyong and Jaehyun pouting as a response to his negative about going out the next day. Taeil knew his eyes were puffy, face red and overall he exhibited a disheveled appearance. But he put two fingers up in a peace sign, a smile on his lips as wide as it can reach, and took the picture. This time it was good news for the couple.

Sicheng came back in the midst of it. Fearing the worst he quickly sat next to him, peeking at the screen and giving Taeil a rather disapproving look. Taeil’s smile deflated a little but didn’t waver as he grabbed grabbed the pen and paper.

Shit to do to get better  
Get shit wasted at the club this weekend  
Move out from shared apartment  
Find a new place  
Never trust the asshole again. No matter how much he begs.

Sicheng frown deepened after reading the first sentence. “Taeil…” he started with a warning tone, but his voice didn’t have venom in it.

“It's not gonna do me any harm.” The older shrugged looking down at his phone, Taeyong filling his screen with worried messages and some death threats to the asshole.. “I need to reconnect with my friends, drink like the world is ending and fuck a cutie.” He ended the sentence with a wink, to which the other reacted by pushing his face away, not hiding his smile.

Sicheng had never seen Taeil like that after a break up with his (now safe to say) ex-boyfriend. Rather than destroyed, Taeil looked hopeful. And it was also safe to say, Sicheng liked that so much better. 

 

Saturday 23:15 P.M.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Doyoung cursed at the sight of the other. Standing against a wall, far away from any six feet tall speaker, even though the music being played was not the typical in clubs, it still managed to make some people dance. It was magical really, how people could lose all their inhibitions so early in the night, with barely a drop of alcohol in their system. Doyoung couldn’t relate.

He saw him only when Johnny turned at the sudden movement near them. Whereas Doyoung would ignore it and keep talking to Ten about his most recent let downs, the taller male seemed to recognize the group, a few mere feet away. Waving with the hand that wasn’t on Ten’s everywhere, he waved at the three boys. 

And honestly speaking, Doyoung had to give it to Ten: the city deserved a shot. However, the let downs only continued when his gaze fixed to the shortest boy. 

He recognized him immediately, how could he not? Even with his now curly hair, he couldn’t pick up the color but he bet he looked good. Taeil had always been attractive, even though his beauty was overshadowed by his height. Doyoung gulped as he examined his outfit. Good god, he had never looked better. 

But Doyoung was a strong boy, he wasn’t going to let a collarbone tattoo and half a sleeve mixed with some good put together outfit erase all the pain Taeil had indulged to him years back. A good exterior didn’t mean shit. He could still be his old self. 

Which would be disappointing, given that Johnny seemed close enough to invite him.

The answer to Doyoung’s question came from a infatuated Ten, arm around Johnny's middle and smiling so wide his cheeks seemed they'd pop off at any time. “He was Johnny's first roommate when he came here, you know during our senior year. Did I never tell you?” the look in Ten’s face was of genuine perplexity at his own slip, but it didn’t last long as the group of three had already reached them.

“No, the fuck you didn't.” Doyoung answer gritting his teeth, smiling at the smaller man approaching them.

The other two boys, who introduced themselves as Sicheng, “And I’m Nakamoto Yuta, his boyfriend.” only to learn a slap on his arm; seemed to blend with the background. Doyoung’s eyes followed Taeil as he first greeted Johnny and Ten, congratulating them on their anniversary. Catching himself staring, Doyoung rolled his eyes, a scoff escaping his lips. 

That gave away his presence, making Taeil turn to him. And there it was, that unreadable expression in his face, that slight smirk as if the older already knew what Doyoung would say, as if he knew the world revolved around him. Head tilted to make eye contact, mouth slightly open and a smirk Doyoung want to both slap and kiss away.

“Hi, Doyoung.”

“Taeil.” he nodded at the other before turning on his heels, leaving the main couple completely flabbergasted at what just happened. Doyoung could hear Taeil giving a lame excuse as he head to the bar zone. It was funny how easily the older could break character in front of other people, only showing his true self to Doyoung, the only who seem to know him enough. Enough to know that, that wasn’t it at all. 

That Taeil had always that confident mask on him to hide his feelings, ever since high school, ever since he tried to pretend they didn’t kiss. But that would mess up his feels for the older again, so Doyoung ignored the facts, and kept up with Taeil’s game of pretending. That was easy. That wouldn’t fuck him up again, after so many years. That Doyoung could do.

Doyoung hoped that in less than an hour, he would have someone's tongue down his throat and that he would too drunk to care about Moon Taeil.

You know what? Scratch that. 

As much as his first wish came true, his second swifted completely. He wanted Taeil to take care of him, to completely ravish him as he sat on his lap.

 

But let’s recap a little bit, when more couples had joined them and, a casual conversation ensued. 

It was a full on attack on his singlehood. “Is this a non-singles event? An intervention? Ten are you ganging up on me?” he had asked, alcohol making the joke funnier. The new and handsome faces appeared to be either Ten or Johnny's friends. Handsome, adorable taken boys. All of them.

Except for Moon Taeil, who recently had gotten out from a very relationship. Not a good one Doyoung could point out, given the sudden change of the air amongst the group. Somber faces and murderous eyes avoiding contact, and Taeil quickly changing the topic to the main event again. Doyoung took a sip of his drink, eyes never leaving the other, analyzing with drunken X-rays the shift in his expression. Still nothing. After half a decade, he was still unable to read Taeil.

The night went on and his glass was kept full courtesy of both Ten and Taeyong, who he came to bond with instantly. He tried to not even glance at Taeil’s way, although he admitted, four shots in, that he wanted to leave marks on the exposed skin revealed by the two first open buttons of his shirt. Wondering if he had more tattoos somewhere else hidden.

The wondering was over when he stumbled out of the cramped place some drinks later. Taeil, seemingly more sober guiding him to the smoking area. A summer breeze flew between them, and Doyoung hated the gap Taeil had left, sitting at a respectable distance. Using alcohol as an excuse was so delicious, it was so easy, and Doyoung couldn’t ignore it. It seemed useless denying what Doyoung had been wanting for at least hours then.

The other still smelled like cologne and shampoo when he scooted closer.

Doyound wouldn't dare to recall what or who started it, but he fitting himself on Taeil’s lap, lips on his own felt natural, like an instinct. And it should scare Doyoung. Instead, he kissed back, sloppy yet determined, vodka and tequila mixed in their tongues as they tried to devour each other. 

Frustration spilled everywhere, after years upon years of being tied around a noose, refraining them from making any attempt beyond trying to become friends. The more he pushed closer the tighter the knot wrapped on his neck. So they both stopped trying soon enough. Taeil was scared of his own feelings and Doyoung was leaving. What was the point? They could never become friends. Not after what happened between them, not after pretending it didn’t happen.

Going back to hating each other seemed the only answer. It worked for a while. But hatred couldn’t be fueled when the two parties are miles away from each other. Doyoung always thought Taeil would have hit the big city by then. Married to a girl he could live with without loving her.

And as much as he hated to admit it, when Taeils hand cupped the front of his pants, he was extremely happy he hadn't left their old city after all. That he was there, with tattoos and earrings, his cocky expression and soft voice. Freshly dyed hair curling around his fingers as they kissed. Kissed. Doyoung couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t question it. Even less when he finally got to kiss Taeil back. 

Taeil sounded sober when he asked if they could head to Doyoung’s place. He ignored how he wasn't half as drunk as he'd hoped as he responded yes. Breathless.

Sunday 10:36 A.M 

Pretending was his forte. Pretending he wasn't afraid, that the asshole didn't scare him and that he was actually in love with him. Pretend he was “normal” and liked girls so his mother wouldn’t leave. Pretend his mother leaving him didn't hurt. Pretend his job didn't suck. Pretend he didn’t like writing because that was a dream for little kids, and he was an adult. Pretending he couldn’t remember how he and Doyoung had sex, blaming it to the alcohol.

Pretend to throw up, grabbing a glass of water and dumping it in the toilet as he faked gagged, while Doyoung fixed them something for the hangover. Pretend waking up next to Doyoung hadn’t felt like all the pain was worth it. That having him moaning against his ear didn't make his skin jump.. Pretend that the scratcher down his back weren't a trophy he wanted to keep forever. 

Pretend he was asleep when Doyoung whispered those three words he had been waiting to hear for years.

Pretend to still hate Doyoung. For some odd reason. Because Doyoung still hated him. What an awful excuse. But he could only try get comfortable with whatever they had now. Which, objectively speaking was more than they ever had.

“So do you have a job?” He asked in the kitchen, sitting on a stool at the small isle. It was a rather modern distribution, the entire place was. A stark contrast to his small, closed concept apartment that made him feel claustrophobic. Everything was big, luminous and radiant. Like Doyoung’s genuine smile. The one he only had for things he loved. 

“Wait are we in talking terms?” 

The other’s voice sounded raspy, Taeil could imagine why. He had told him to take it slowly, but apparently Doyoung had to prove his claim of non-existent gag reflex. And so he ignored his warning.

“Trying to make shit less awkward here, Doyoung.”

A sigh, Doyoung leaving his mug against the counter next to him, eyes closing. Facing Taeil like a curious historian in front of an inexplicable being. Taeil was aware Doyoung wanted to read him, he always had wanted to know what was on his mind. Back in high school it would have been rather ironic, since Taeil himself couldn’t decipher his thoughts. But now, he might as well let him. At some point. 

Doyoung’s feet sung slightly as he answered “Went to a few job interviews.”

“Did they get back to you?” Anything to keep him talking. An excuse to stay a bit longer, to avoid going back home and to shush the fear of not seeing Doyoung again, no matter how many common friends they have. 

“One did.” He confessed, sight lost somewhere next to him. “The email was interesting to say the least.” the smile on his lips not even a third of what it could reach, lips pursed expression hiding his anger. It wasn’t unfair, Taeil knew, how well he could understand Doyoung by just looking at him, and how little he left for the other to do the same.

“Where was it from?”

“Couple therapy center. I've heard it's quite new.”

“I’d say too strict. That’s why they are short on people, their weird policies make a lot of people uncomfortable or unfit for the job.” he finished his coffee, the walk of shame was unavoidable, he had no reason to stay. 

“Strict and weird to say the least.” there it was finally, a chuckle, soft and contained. But there nonetheless. 

Taeil followed the sun’s light caressing Doyoung’s profile with his eyes, feeling pathetic and absolutely no way near worth of him anymore. However, he was a thief: stealing Doyoung’s time, his attention and first kiss. 

Walking to clean his mug on the sink, feeling eyes on the back of his neck, Taeil bit down a smile as he scrubbed. “They said they couldn't hire me because I was single. Isn’t it fucking bullshit? Like, I have to be in a healthy romantic relationship or else the won’t--"

“I could do it.” Taeil interrupted, slowly turning to face the other, still sitting next to him.

“What?”

“I could help you trick everyone into believing you are in a healthy romantic relationship.” the shorter imitated the annoying tone the other had used previously on those words

“Why would you do that?” Doyoung’s arms folded over his chest, look stern and coffee long forgotten.

“I need a place to live.” he simple shrugged leaning against the counter in front of Doyoung, one eyebrow raised. A challenge. A proposal. 

“So wait a second, you, Moon Taeil are offering not only to be my fake boyfriend, but my roommate?”

Taeil knew better than to move. So he didn't, expression plastered on his face, even allowing himself to smirk. Doyoung looked at him dumbfounded, an expression that would and should make him crumble, retaliate in fear and assure that he was joking. 

“You are being very casual about this.” Doyoung said dropping the cold coffee on the sink beside him, almost splashing some brown liquid onto Taeil’s clothes. “Weren't you just in a relationship?”

That was a low blow, and Doyoung knew ir, it made Taeil feel like he had been licked in the stomach. He bit his lip at the pain, nails digging into his palm “So? Why would your boss care?”

Another sigh. Doyoung jumped down from the counter and cornered him, leaning just slightly to match their weight. “Deal. Move in next week.” he said, and Taeil pretended to ignore the glint in his eyes as he leaned in to close the gap between them and kiss the corner of his mouth.

Pretend to be Doyoungs boyfriend. Pretend the love for him isn't real. Now that's an act which success Taeil was unsure of.

 

Sunday 20:17 P.M

“He what?” Tens eyes were about to fall off from their sockets, leaning in towards Doyoung on the old couch he thought the petite boy was gonna send them both flying to the ground. 

“Tell me I'm not fucking crazy.” Doyoung said clutching a pillow against his chest. “Like he was so nonchalant about it? I can't figure him out and it stresses me.”

“Crazy? Crazy was you mistaking whipped cream by shaving cream one time and almost intoxicating half the campus with your whip its. This is pure insanity” Ten remembered expression still shocked. “And second of all, what's your relationship with Taeil anyway?”

“Oh boy"

Flashback: high school

He should have known better. Known better than to fall in love with a junior during freshman year. Both lanky kids who were still processing the whole hormones thing as they waited for the bell to ring every afternoon. Doyoung should have known better when the older had started to notice him, helping him with subjects he was limping on, and clapping him on the back when he saw Doyoung in the hallways. 

It shouldn’t have made Doyoung’s heart do somersaults how Taeil smiled at him as if he was the only one in his mind, as if he woke up every day to see him. Basically because they were extremely young and the two years separating their ages felt like he was standing at the other side of the world from him. However, still, Taeil ruffled his hair and made him believe there was a bridge somewhere to reach him. And so sophomore year rolled around, and Taeil wasn’t anywhere. He had left during the summer, they had said goodbyes a day before. It made Doyoung feel special, again, how he got to be the only one to say bye to him. It did feel sad, it felt like Taeil wasn’t telling him half the reason why he was leaving for three whole months. But Doyoung didn’t question it, he just smiled and hoped he had a safe flight.

Sophomore year was dull, like the sun hiding behind thick clouds on a February day, just like his birthday. His friends organized a small party for him at the bowling pit and he had ignored the lack of communication from the other. Ignored how much it ached in his guts.

Taeil might have graduated and Doyoung didn’t get to see him. That made him cry at night. The regret of him not being able to properly say goodbye, to tell him all that was in his heart. However, a little voice inside him told him that Taeil already knew. He had known all along. 

Junior year started and Taeil was back. Back at senior year. He hadn’t graduated, but he looked paler. Tired look becoming a normal thing on his face, some days his eyes didn’t even shine, they were black and mat and completely void of any emotion. It was scary, how much a year had changed the sun walking amongst men, into the rocky and scarred moon. Doyoung wanted to hold him, already sure of what he felt and who he felt it for. His mother smiling at the confession, sudden but not surprising. 

Needless to say, Taeil had stopped talking to Doyoung completely. Ignoring him in the hallways, leaving him hanging as he waved at him. But the taller (growing past the other the last summer) wasn’t the only one, it appeared to be everyone. Taeil became a loner, always immersed in his books during lunch break, eating alone and barely touching his food at that. It was and excruciating sight for Doyoung. 

Sitting in front of Taeil at lunch was the worst idea he ever had. Even though it seemed pretty simple in his brain, it became a nightmare. Insisting for Taeil to answer his questions only made the older more irritable, until he pushed himself up and turned to leave. Doyoung grabbed his wrist to stop him, eyes wide and pleading. Taeil still had a heart, because he swapped their positions and lead Doyoung out of there.

“Do you fucking know how hard this is for me?” the older had asked in the verge of tears. 

They were on the locker rooms of the football team, the smell of sweat and teenage hormones engulfed them. But he had no time to ponder on that, as his back was pushed against a wall, Taeil’s hand crumpling the front of his shirt as he stood inches away from him.

“No I don’t. So just tell me.” his voice was weak, almost a whisper. “What happened to you?”

“You.” he said pushing Doyoung against the wall again, his face closer. “You fucking happened to me, Doyoung. You and your fucking smile, and your fucking voice when we sing at the choir practice, and your hands, and the fact that you still want me around.” he was crying but his voice was still piercing. “You happened and you destroyed my life.” he finished before smashing his lips against Doyoung’s.

It was a quick peck, forceful but with no intention on going further. When Doyoung’s mind finally processed what was happening it was too late, Taeil was pulling himself away. The salt of his tears still lingering on Doyoung’s lips.

“Do you like me, Taeil?” he stuttered, almost choking on his own spit.

Taeil let go of his shirt, the wrinkles around his grasp evident but irrelevant. Doyoung was waiting for a response anything, rejection or acceptance he didn’t care, he just wanted to know once and for all what was on Taeil’s mind. What was he thinking.

“Yes.” he admitted. The expectation was Taeil smiling, holding his hands, leaning in for another kiss, eyes glistening and endearing. But he was smirking, head tilted back, eyes half closed and an unreadable expression that would become his default facade. “I like you so much I came out to my family. That’s why I had to leave. You crushed my life with your bare hands. I can’t fucking stand the sight of you.”

And with that, he was gone.

Taeil dated a girl. Then another one. And up to three more in a year. He never seemed happy with any of them, rather annoyed to a point where his name was always in the middle of rumors and insults. He never turned to look at Doyoung, or so the younger thought. Doyoung really believed every word Taeil said, would write them in gold if he had to, even if they hurt. 

But Taeil couldn’t stop looking at him, thinking about him, dreaming, writing about him. And by his graduation he had everything cleared out.

He would stay to go to the nearby college, he would make up with Doyoung, getting down on his knees and plead if he had to. Buy the moon for him, change the course of the rivers, anything. 

It was the beginning of June when he knocked on Doyoung’s door. “We are selling the house. My mom’s been transferred to San Francisco and we are moving there. Goodbye, Taeil.”

Taeil stopped the door from closing shut with his foot. “Wait, when?”

“Next week.” Doyoung looked away, he had never made eye contact with him. And when he turned around, door finally closing shut Taeil was bombarded by the same thought. I’ve lost him. 

 

Doyoung Sunday 20:21 P.M

 

“So the mother fucker broke your heart.” Ten was raging, fire shooting out from his mouth as he spoke.

“It was a teenage crush, Ten.” the glasses resting on the table were empty, so it seemed Doyoung’s role to fill them again with some whine. He was a great host, if he did say so himself. 

“He is your first love Doyoung.”

Needless to say, Doyoung had told him Ten only half the story: Taeil was going through some shit because of his sexuality and that’s why he rejected Doyoung. Simple as that.

“But he is going to be your roommate.” the smaller boy punctuated, eyebrow raised and glass pressed against this lower lip.

Oh yeah, Ten only needed to know about the roommate thing, not the couple thing. That was stupid and Taeil would back on his words soon enough, so Doyoung didn’t dwell too much on that. 

“Rent is kicking my ass and he needs a place to stay. It’s an agreement that appeals both of us.” 

Ten faked gagged at his word choice. “I’m just worried about you, Doyoung. But.” he started leaving the glass again. “I do admit he doesn’t come off as a horrible person. I’ve known him for some time now, not as long as you but, he is nice. He is actually very caring.” Ten seemed to recall, eyes wondering up to the fading light of the sunset.

“He is.” Doyoung agreed with a smile, chugging down his wine.

Doyoung’s smile had no trace of joy in it, actually tears threatened to board his eyes. It kind of hurt really, knowing he was both using and being used. That whatever they could have could never reach his expectations, fate or whatever sick joke was dictating their lives wouldn't let it happen. Let them happen.

Doyoung looked down at the pillow and soon placed it against his chest. It was a small red square, barely stuffed, but he hid his face in it. 

“You still love him, don't you.” it infuriated Doyoung how that wasn't a question. Ten knew him too well for his own good. 

“I need another glass" he said going to grab the bottle of cheap wine on the table but Ten stopped him, concern in his eyes. “Fuck, Ten. What am I supposed to tell you? Yes? I never stopped loving him? Even when I was in someone else's arms? Shit.” 

The night fell silent then, no cars, no rumors, no nosy neighbours. Ten left after a second cup, claiming he had to drive back home. So Doyoung sent him off from the couch where he half assed a smile at his friends direction and his hand suggested a wave. He didn’t move from there as the moon traveled like a pale vigilante through the sky, reminiscing and hurting. 

It was hilarious how at the end they always found each other. At the end Doyoung would always go back to Taeil.


	2. Change of heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suddenly everything is a blur. Feelings get mixed up once more and a gray area opens. Old frustrations get out finally, if not in rather weird ways, but again their situation is not common either. So in a week, limbo ensues and the only way for it to cease is in Taeil's hands.

Taeil. Monday 19:04 p.m

It was in the middle of Taeil typing away a scene of his upcoming and first novel, that it happened. Everything just suddenly sunk in, and the splash only but made him shudder as his eyes frantically scanned the scene.

 

The morning had been hectic, taking the day off from work to move everything in. Even though the house was empty and there was no chance Doyoung would come back until dinner time, it just didn’t seem like anything was extraordinary. The moving company helped him move the bed, the wardrobe and some other pieces of furniture. By lunchtime, the workers left, Taeil tipping them more than it’s even normal. He hurriedly busied himself, forgetting about his growling stomach, as panic was begging to settle in. 

 

Still unsure how the groceries and everything would be split, he decided to commit to the only space he knew for certain he owned. And there he spent the hours: frenesy turned into metodic movements, assembling and decorating, putting everything in place only to remove it and start over. Until his arms felt like falling, and he decided that maybe writing would help him.

 

And then it happened. The repressed panic creeped on him from the back and bit down on his shoulder, eating him as he sat on the bed. 

 

What the hell was going to happen next remained as a mystery that had him shivering. Fears multiplied as his mind began to race, but all of them were focused on Doyoung. Taeil willed himself to breath in and rationalize with his inner demons. He wasn’t going to get kicked out, they will talk over small details like groceries, and chores, then he’ll ask about his job again, they will decide what to do with the fake relationship thing. 

 

All those nagging thoughts, started when Doyoung meant it when he told him he loved him, after them hooking up, amidst tears. And only intensified the morning after. Too used to be hated, despised by the younger for so long, that the intimacy and sincerity came as a dream. As a miracle. At lost of what to do with that development, Taeil felt like he was staring deer eyed at the event unfolding paralyzed. Unable to move and when he did, he always had the impulse to back down. To chuckle lightly, waving away the thought.

 

But he hadn’t.

 

To such braveness, he doesn’t know what to credit. 

 

Something had overcome to him when he saw Doyoung sitting on that counter, so tender, so open about his life, so domestic, Taeil thinks he had never felt his heart beating so fast and so full at the same time. It felt like his body needed to spend time with Doyoung, or else he would perish. It only felt natural to propose this whole nonsense.

 

Keys turned on the front door lock, and Taeil swallowed hard. Laptop forgotten, he went to greet Doyoung.

 

Doyoung 20:10 p.m

 

“I got you lemonade I hope it’s fine.” Doyoung commented as a cup of said liquid thud on the table. 

 

Trying to mask a mischievous grin, Doyoung bit down on his lip as he turned to grab some napkins from the kitchen. He knew Taeil fucking hated lemons, lemonade made his stomach upset and growl for hours. He didn’t just forget, it was a way of getting back to him, for what? well he had a haze idea, that some might find petty at this point. But Taeil was in his house, his territory and he just needed to restore some sort of balance in the universe.

 

So he returned to where Taeil was sitting, the food Doyoung had brought from a takeaway place laid out in front of him untouched. His eyes soon darted from him to his phone, and Doyoung almost laughed at how unsubtle Taeil had always been. The endearing scene made his heart tug, like a string of a arching bow, and an arrow crossed his heart, not painful but rather warm.

 

“Here have my soda.” his hand switched their beverages as he sat down in front of him, eyes never meeting. “You used to hate lemonade, didn’t you?”

 

The nod he received as a response wasn’t even needed. Doyoung could never forget his face when he tried his lemonade, trying to mask how sour it was and how awful it tasted in his mouth with a smile. Only for him to lay down the rest of the day under a tree in the middle of the summer. How could he forget such trivial things about the only boy he is sure he has ever loved? The way he used to bite his nails, how he would space out, the doodles on his notes that turned into small thoughts over the years; the random singing fits as they walked home, the finger tapping on Doyoung’s shoulder as they waited for their daily coffee.

 

How could he forget the small moments where Taeil and himself were two teenagers in love but tragically so?

  
  


Doyoung. Monday 21:34 p.m

 

“Like right now?” Doyoung asked putting the plates away. 

 

They had been talking for over an hour now, food soon forgotten as their conversation demanded full attention. Going over some details that Taeil had seemed particularly interested about, like groceries: Doyoung wasn’t around home much during meal time so he didn’t actually go for shopping that often. However Taeil insisted that when they did so they kept the bill. They both agreed to share the food but assign each at least a daily chore. Taeil got the dishes and Doyoung the laundry. He was never really that good at rock, paper, scissor. 

 

And like a soft breeze under grey skies, the airs shifted to the elephant in the room, which was Doyoung’s job ordeal. It was almost hilarious how Doyoung jumped at the reassurance of Taeil’s words that he wanted to help. That he wanted to be his fake boyfriend. It still didn’t make it any less bizarre. It was a favour, however, so Doyoung really didn’t want to give it much thought. Just a small white lie for him to get a job. Until Taeil suggested they flooded social media to make sure there was no doubt or suspicion in Doyoung’s-soon-to-be boss. 

 

It only raised suspicion in Taeil’s own insistence, but the elder had always been some sort of perfectionist, and once he’d made a decision he would stick to it for better and worse. Which brought them to where they were now: apparently hating each other, yet pretending to lovey dovey. For a job. 

 

“For the mons.” Taeil had said rubbing his index finger on his thumb, succeeding in making Doyoung laugh. 

 

His expression had softened from an hour ago, being stern and stoic really didn’t suit him. So he had sighed around his noodles and gave in at Taeil’s questions about goddamn groceries.

 

Right then, however, he was looking at Taeil incredulously as he held both Doyoung’s and his own phone to his face with wide eyes, as to saying “did i stutter?”

 

“Yeah, right now.” and he was up and next to Doyoung, urging him up by tugging his sleeve. “A boyfriend cleaning the dishes is domestic and it’s rather...private.” again Doyoung’s eyes didn’t show any expression other than dumbfoundess 

 

“You gave this a lot of thought, didn’t you?” it was a small murmur as he was letting himself being led by the other.

 

“I just want to be a fake boyfriend.” and okay, as much as it would take torture for Doyoung to admit, the fake there felt rather heavy, a knot in his stomach that he wanted to blame on the soy sauce of the noodles. 

 

Soon enough, the picture was taken while Taeil threw away the cartoon boxes and cleaned the chopsticks and glasses. Yes the had poured the drinks in crystal glasses because Doyoung was adamant of drinking from a cartoon drink, every since his juice turned out to be molded in high school.

 

Posting it online after Taeil was done and they were sitting on the couch, Doyoung still couldn’t name it their couch so it would remain The Couch, Doyoung tapped on the caption, right after he had followed Taeil in all his social medias, however not finding it in himself to mute his accounts on any of them. As much as Taeil expressed his content about the whole thing, a pregnant pause followed the “done” from Doyoung’s side.

 

Yeah, something didn’t feel right.

 

The words were out before Doyoung’s brain had time to proof read them. “You should post something too.”

“You sure?” Taeil turned to ask.

 

“Yeah, that’s what couples do, right? Like them being all corny in social media, tagging each other all the time, posting pics simultaneously and all that.” Doyoung shrugged as he caught himself at the verge of rambling.

 

“Sure, but isn’t that what teenagers do?”

 

“Millennials.” Doyoung corrected him. “And as a matter of fact, we are too, millennials.”

 

“Best known as the meme generation.” Taeil said with a chuckle.

 

“I take pride on ourselves.” and okay that was maybe too profound, when Taeil was the poet of the two, and also keeping eye contact after that seemed for some reason too much.

 

Taeil took one for the team when he asked once more. “What should I post.”

 

“Something private yet domestic.” Doyoung imitated Taeil’s words from earlier. 

 

“Got it.” Taeil nodded and scooted dangerously close. 

 

Doyoung recalled the night at the club, sitting so close before leaning in, kissing, climbing on his lap. Good god how much he wanted to be more drunk than he actually was to just forget about it. As much as a part of him ached at the thought of not remembering Taeil’s kisses, Taeil’s body.

 

“Let me show you first and then you decide if it’s okay.” Taeil suggested, earning an agreement mumble from the youngest. 

 

Doyoung expected Taeil to hold his hand and take the most cliche picture ever, rest his head on his shoulders, maybe nuzzle him at most. What he would have never guessed is to feel Taeil’s lips against his cheek, again, too close to his mouth to be somewhat innocent. It was so tempting as much as it was tormenting. Just a few instants of Taeil pressing himself even closer without meeting any resistance, no arm pushing him away, no word telling him to stop. And Doyoung felt like he would catch on fire spontaneously. 

 

“Okay.” came wavy and coarse, breaking into a high pitch at the end. Never turning to look at the other, Doyoung kept himself busy playing with the hem of his shirt. 

 

They say when you die you see your whole life flash before your eyes, a weird phenomenon where time seems to slow down just for you. Like suddenly looking at the clock and thinking that that one second you kept staring felt longer. Doyoung would like to introduce another occurrence: when Taeil slowly leaned in again, in the same manner he had before and meeting again no sign of protest, Doyoung’s mind had had the time to run a marathon and ultimately decide as he closed his eyes.

 

He turned his face towards Taeil, managing to capture his lips with the other’s. The sound of Taeil’s phone falling from his hand as he was pushed the lay on the couch, was a distant disruption that didn’t faze any of the two.

 

Taeil. Monday 23:02 a.m

“You know.” he started, arm around Doyoung because apparently he was a cuddler after sex. “I’ve heard you.” his voice wasn’t accusatory, nor his words had any malice in them. If anything they had nothing but hope, a weak fragile tinge to them as he buried his nose on the back of his neck. “Please don’t be mad.”

 

Doyoung’s silence made Taeil think he had just went and threw everything down the drain in the first day. They hadn’t even made it “official”... “fake-official” yet, and Taeil had managed to push everything out the window with just a few words. Now that Doyoung had started being civil. However, it was a good sign that Doyoung hadn’t shoved him away by then. If he wanted to he would have done it on impulse.

 

“I know you won’t forget it.” Doyoung responded just as softly as Taeil had spoken. “Just like I won’t forget what you did to me, how you broke my heart.” 

 

And that was brutal. Taeil felt like he could cry there and then, as he held onto Doyoung’s waist. But the gulped down, nodding twice and going to kiss Doyoung’s neck. “I understand. I have a lot to make up for and a lot to explain.” he muttered against Doyoung’s shoulder blades. “But let me just start by saying one thing.” with a little tapping, he silently asked the other to turn in his hold. Once he did, Taeil took a deep shaky breath and looked right into Doyoung’s eyes.

 

“I love you too. I’ve always loved you, and I always will.”

 

At the end it was Doyoung the one who cried, against Taeil’s chest, which he tried to punch to no avail. Muttering how much he hated him, how much he wanted to get rid of him. The frustration pent up every since high school resolved in shouts and yells against Taeil’s skin, never wanting to show his face and Taeil endured it. Held onto the other as he screamed until his voice broke and almost choked in his own spit. 

 

He cried for all the horrible words Taeil had spat his way at high school, for breaking his heart, for ignoring his calls, for pretending he didn’t exist, that what they had was wrong, for making him feel so bad about himself and making him hate him. That last part got tangled in his tongue, loud crying reaching its peak. Then the wails turned to sobs, which turned to erratic respiration.

 

Eventually he calmed down, looking up with puffy red eyes, surprised to find Taeil still awake. “You are the worst thing that has happened to me.” Taeil knew those words, they had been his demise. So he nodded, kissing Doyoung’s temple, his own eyes shedding tears.

 

“I know, and I’m sorry Doyoung. I am so sorry.”

 

“I know.” that jolted Taeil, expecting the other to use such vulnerability to strike again, slap him even. But instead he appeared calmer, slowly getting more and more sleepy. The questioning look and overall confused expression must have been undoubtful as Doyoung sighed, leaning his head over where Taeil’s heart started to beat fast again, a hand pushing his chest once more to lay flat.  “If not, why would you still be here?”

 

“Exactly.” he agreed, hand travelling up and down Doyoung’s bareback.

 

It was bizarre, again, it was like a cubist painting where all the angles are put in a two dimensional piece. Taeil could see Doyoung’s anger, his frustration as well a glimpse of understanding and forgiveness. He held onto those last two, adding them to the fact that he didn’t deny or rectify his words, his ‘I love you’.

 

“If I told you everything, what happened and why I did what I did, would you have it in your heart to forgive me?” his voice sounded nasal, his tears reaching his cheeks before rolling to the sides of his face and dying on the pillows. 

 

“Try it.” Doyoung’s voice sounded like he was drifting away, his breathing peaceful after the yelling fit. “You might never know if you don’t try.”

 

Doyoung. Friday 9:06

 

Thing is, Taeil hadn’t still tried. And the problem didn’t lay of them not having time to be alone together. They lived under the same roof for fucks sake, and their respective instagrams were filled with pictures of each other, of stupid lovesick filled captions and comments from their friends that varied from pure confusion to bewilderment and some even congratulatory. 

 

Ten had called him on wednesday demanding explanations as to why fake boyfriends were behaving more like a couple than him and Johnny to put an example. Doyoung had to be frank with the other, he didn’t know where the boundaries were anymore. At day one of being in this whole stupid thing, they already broke the utmost important rule of fake dating. Guess one can’t date the love of their life turned enemy turned redeeming love of their life. However their scheduled and premeditated social media plan was still rolling.

 

So yeah, one could say they were in a limbo there, a grey zone where Doyoung feared he and Taeil would grow too comfortable on and never crossing it. Because it was Wednesday, he had told Ten, and they had fucked on at least half of the superficies vertical and horizontal of the house, yet they acted so awkward around each other. He caught Taeil gaping at him at times, others clenching his wrist like touching Doyoung would physically burn him.

 

And Doyoung was angry. Frustrated. Not because Taeil wasn’t doing anything, well yeah for that too. But because he just wanted closure. Doyoung began to think that maybe he was rushing thing, but then he remembered how many years had already passed and his patience grew even thinner.

 

It was Friday morning, and the soon-to-be boss gave him the news that he was hired. That someone as well prepared and intelligent as him truly surpassed all his expectatives, the mention of Doyoung’s plans on enrolling for another masters seemed to overjoy the man. Turns out the social media shit was indeed helpful, for an employee close enough to the boss, told him that Doyoung had apparently a relationship going on and it was serious for they were living together. The boss congratulated Doyoung on that, shaking his hand again, his smile sweet and genuine and Doyoung felt like crying again. 

 

“So why didn’t you tell me? You could have been working with us for a week now.” the man said not really sounding sorry about how his stupid policy affected his employees. 

 

“I wasn’t quite sure he loved me that much.” Doyoung’s shy smile dropped when his mind connected the dots. He swore he could feel a lightbulb going on inside his brain. “Like, he stuck around this town to wait for me, hoping I would come back to find him. Which I honestly wasn’t even thinking about that when I came back, I thought he would have moved on. But he hadn’t. He had kept hope that I would come to him. And I did. At the back of my mind I knew that’s why I did.”

 

The boss was completely taken aback at his words, his finger trying to pinpoint the words as he reviewed them almost out loud. He didn’t seem like the brilian couple therapist at all right then, but Doyoung had his eyes glued to the floor, irises shaking as he himself went over his little speech. 

 

“Anyways.” rang the strong deep voice of the man, snapping Doyoung of whatever mental state that was. “You will be starting next monday. Clear?”

 

“Crystal clear, sir. Thank you so much.” Doyoung’s cheek hurt after shaking his now finally boss’ hand and bowing to him with a big grin in his face. As much as this was a success he owned part of it to Taeil, that was undebatable. So, fishing his phone out from his pocket, he sent a text to Taeil, as a rather bored looking secretary made his paperwork.

 

Taeil. Friday 9:46 a.m

 

Time zones sucked. That much he knew. Having a loved someone studying abroad had its perks and its cons, and being on the back room of the library skyping his brother not even at ten in the morning, was definitely a con. The other appeared as joyful as ever, his lips spreading into a grin when the connection stabilized, his eyes soft, dark brown and glistening. Taeil had compared Jungwoo to a poodle ever since he met him, and there was that.

 

“Hey there, can you hear me?” Jungwoo nodded from the other side of the line asking the same question back and clapping softly when he got a positive response. 

 

“What is it there.” he knew exactly the answer, he had a secondary clock on his phone to keep track of his brother, in case he saw him tweeting too late at night. That had happened more than once, and even more frequently now that he had grown a crush on a classmate. 

 

If Taeil had to describe Jungwoo, he would say fake freckles and blush, sweater paws and soft giggles, caramel macchiatos and lo-fi music but a sense for adventure and wanderlust. That’s why he chose to study film making in Hong Kong, away from home even though he would get homesick during family trips. Challenging himself even though his anxiety that had made him crawl into Taeil’s bed more times than not, had become his way of overcoming.

 

Jungwoo had matured right in front of Taeil’s nose. Albeit they met when Taeil was sixteen turning seventeen, they weren’t brothers until Taeil was well into his eighteen candles and Jungwoo in his fifteen. Their remaining parents, Jungwoo’s mom and Taeil’s dad, had met at an association of parents supporting LGBT kids, being part of the pride parade every year, and creating a hotline for whoever needed support from a parental figure. 

 

Jungwoo’s mom was sweet as his son was, he wasn’t spiteful and cold like Taeil’s mom. The scenes unfolding before her departure from Taeil’s life positively scared him for life, making him do things and cut people off from his life, made him hurt and pushed away who he wanted the closest. Jungwoo’s mom was a widow but supported his only child with iron fists, and she was an absolute charmer, Taeil’s dad was a goner from the start. 

 

A year after they were married, which made Taeil question his dad’s sanity, but their relationship was fulfilling and healthy, setting somewhat of a model for what both Jungwoo and Taeil’s respective romantic relationships should aim for. 

 

No sooner had Jungwoo finished his tale about his week, and how his crush Wong Yukhei, a native, had taken him downtown for ice cream (“It was a date Jungwoo.” “I know but I’m scared, okay?” “Of what?” “Rejection.” “Me and you both, Jungwoo.”) that Jungwoo began asking about the sudden development of Taeil’s relationship with Doyoung. Jungwoo being the one to clean up the mess that was Taeil after Doyoung left for San Francisco, had a lot of questions.

 

The easy route here was to tell him straight, no buts or hesitation. So Taeil did, leaving Jungwoo speechless for a split second.

 

“Wait what do you mean ‘try it’?” Jungwoo wondered shifting his position on the chair. “Try to clear everything up?” Taeil shrugged and nodded. “Then why haven’t you done it yet?”

 

“It’s been so long, and as I have seen, it really marked him for life. I don’t know how to word myself without sounding wrong.” Taeil defended, the sole idea of pouring everything out keeping him up at night. 

 

“You are afraid that even if you do talk to him nothing will change and you will stay in this, sort of friends with benefits but not really because are you even really friends?” Jungwoo drifted off suddenly. Again Taeil shrugged. “Still, Doyoung gave you a green flag for you to try to redeem yourself. Don’t waste it.”

 

It still amazed him how well did Jungwoo know him, maybe blood tests would say otherwise but he loved him like a brother, a younger brother he never knew he had. 

 

In midst of Jungwoo’s speech, Taeil’s phone buzzed next to the laptop. Freezing at the notification Taeil slid his finger on the screen. Granted they had been civil for the week, talking to each other, starting with reminders about milk and mundane things, to asking for advice when Doyoung was indecisive about his master's, or Taeil showing Doyoung a bit of his recent work. So maybe they were friends.

 

“Who is it?” Jungwoo asked pointing at Taeil’s phone with a nod of his head. Without even answering Jungwoo spoke again. “Doyoung?” now it was Taeil nodding. “What does he say?”

 

“Well, he’s been hired.” it sounded more plain than what he expected, given that his heart was making somersaults against his ribcage. “And he wants to celebrate tonight, he is buying wine.”

 

“A celebration at home?”

 

“Looks like it.”

 

“You two alone.”

 

“I guess?”

 

“Taeil.” Jungwoo called once more, making Taeil throw his head up to meet his gaze. “He is giving you one last chance, please make it count.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know this seems very rushed like BAM character developement-ish? but i just dont want this to turn 8933 chapters long. im making this a 3 chaptered fic much to my dismay just because i want to make a compeling ending to it (it's what they deserve!) so i hope you liked this chapter, that everything made sense and that i didn't seem too rushed!! love you all !


End file.
